Some people just shouldn't ride a bike!
Betty Jean and I went out and bought us some bicycles a pretty good while ago when we were younguns, and we had a high old time riding them around.
Now, our oldest friends, Mel and Shirlee saw us ridin' them things all over the place, and since we looked like we were having a lot of fun, they figured they wanted to have some fun too, so they bought themselves a couple of bikes, and Mel put them together, and in about a week the four of us packed up a picnic lunch and took the bikes to an old Florida state park.
There was nothing at all in this park except for pine trees and palmetto scrub bushes, but there were paved roads, so we could get up some pretty good speed.
We were having a great time, and the only thing you had to look out for was the occasional rattlesnake crossing the road.
One of the roads we were on was long and straight, and at the very end of it was a huge log that was stretched all the way across the road with nothing but woods behind it.
Well we all looked at each other like we were a bunch of evil kneivel bikers, and we took off like bats out of you know what for that big ol' log, I mean we were burnin' rubber, and still pickin' up speed as we approached the end of the road.
As soon as we got to what we thought was close enough to that log, we slammed on our brakes as hard as we could, and I stopped, Betty stopped, Mel stopped, and we figured that Shirlee would've stopped too if Mel had of tightened up her brakes good enough, but he didn't tighten them. Shirlee didn't stop, and we all calculated that she must have hit that log going at least 80 miles an hour, and the very last thing we saw of her as she was flying through the air was the bottom of her designer tennis shoes hollerin" Mel, you #&%%! $@( &$ + %#*&!. just before she disappeared into the woods.
We were all kinda shocked, because none of us had ever heard her talk like that before.
Now, if any of y'all remember the old superman series on tv every Saturday morning where George Reeves goes flying around in his long handled underwear, and a guy fires a pistol, and says "faster than a speeding bullet". Well, that would just about sum up how fast Shirlee's rear end left that bicycle seat, and I can't even begin to tell you how impressed me, Betty, and Mel were about what we had just seen her do!!
We don't want any of y'all worrying now because when Shirlee finally did come out of the woods, she was fine as a frogs hair, but she was madder than a wet settin hen at good ol' Mel.
This was a long time ago, but even now when I think of that day, and remember Shirlee flying gracefully through the air, I swear I hear the old superman theme music !
I'll leave you with a couple of things:
To this day, Shirlee's never been back on a bicycle.
And since y'all are my friends, y'all might have to bail me out of jail, cause Shirlee did mention something about havin' me locked up if I printed this story.